HOW HATEFUL PREACHERS INVIGORATE THE 1ST AMMENDMENT
For those of you who weren’t around upper campus Wednesday, you were lucky enough to miss the circus sideshow going on. Once a semester, our loving, easygoing student body is plagued by a group of people infamous among all college campuses. I wandered by that way for the same reason everyone else did. The babbling radical evangelicals are as good a form of entertainment as the cast of Jersey Shore, with little difference in nimrodery.
The content of their sermons causes you to feel like a Dementor has been set upon you. The pure hatred their words express slowly eats away at your stomach until you feel sick. Luckily, I could escape long enough to go take a quiz.
Later on, I was more than amazed not only to see the preacher couple still there, but that the audience had at least doubled. Despite the con!dence of our guests it was obvious that students had banded together to attack from all sides. Some either cleverly heckled from the grassy stage’s blockade of bodies, or entered the gauntlet directly to dance with the devil.
I could tell by their reaction, this is exactly what they wanted. The bigger the crowd, the more people their God’s message reaches. My first reaction to the whole thing was how pointless the spectacle was. There really wasn’t a word said in the debate that was worth listening to. I’m pretty sure there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind these people are bat-shit crazy. And all we could do to try to pick away at their ridiculous arguments was respond with just as much as hate and anger as the fire and brimstone they put forth. The only people with a shred of sense would have to be the devout Christians trying to redeem their people by pleading that these misled missionaries use more loving methods to convert disbelievers.
I felt completely like an observer at this point as it was an unwinnable fight. I was amazed by how immersed everyone else seemed to be. The two sides complemented each other so well it was almost like watching a play or a comedic duo. The preacher would set up the joke and the student would direct the punchline. It became so rhythmic it almost seemed both sides were enjoying it. The audience sat respectfully listening to both characters like they were sitting in front of a TV set.
At first I couldn’t quite figure out why we allowed this to go on. At any minute someone could have drowned them out with music, talked over them, or shouted in their face until they left. But that harmony helped me realize what was really going on. This was one of the most patriotic acts of freedom taking place in front of us. It was an act that is considered rare to many parts of the rest of the world. And to some degree both sides acknowledged that. There was a moment when someone sprayed a water gun at the speaker and even her staunchest enemies condemned the act. It was clear that even though they hated what the others said, they’d defend their right to say it. Surprisingly, we could unite in the fact that we are all Americans.
One side chose to hide behind their first amendment right to group us all together as horny devils and fornicators. But that’s all right. And we expressed our freedom of speech by humiliating them as best we could, keeping them on their toes, and standing up for those who don’t have a voice. And it was beautiful. It’s pretty great a minority group has the freedom to say their religious beliefs without persecution. It’s also pretty great that gays and anyone else made to feel bad about themselves has a student body that will speak out against intolerance. However, if you can help it, next semester try to remember: Please don’t feed the animals.