With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought it would be a good idea to examine some of the lyrics of one of the greatest bedroom poets of today. Taylor Swift, with her command of the 4th grade level English language, cra!s doe-eyed love letters marked by their heavy handed sincerity and lack of mutual reciprication. Taylor knows what love truly is, which is the reason she’s had close to 20 boyfriends in the last two years. That’s why she’s the topic of today’s discussion. I will examine some of her greatest lyrical feats here, so you can witness the lyrical wunderkind that is Taylor Swift.
“Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong/
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young/
To be played by your dark, twisted games/
When I loved you so, I should’ve known”
The assumption that this song was written about John Mayer, the king of white boy croon, can be contested. What can’t be contested, however, is Taylor’s immaculate use of the lover scorned/super bitch theme. Taylor really knows how to amp up the victim card, peppering the line, “Don’t you think I was too young?” throughout the song, blurring the line between sad song and pedophelia. Oh wait, she says she’s 19. Okay, keep it going John, drain that well dry.
YOU BELONG WITH ME
“I’m in the room, its a typical Tuesday night/
I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like/
And she’ll never know your story like I do"
Move the fuck over, Sting. When it comes to weird white girl stalking, Taylor Swift slinks her way creepily to the occasion. Pining over the football captain and bitching about his stinky bourgeois girlfriend, Taylor waits at his back door (she literally says she’s waiting at his back door) for his approval. She knows he’s the one for her and she won’t take any excuses (he’s taken/she’s creepy). She knows what she wants, and if she has to take him to a cabin and break his legs, she’s gonna do it. Props to you, Taylor.
WE ARE NEVEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER
“I’m really gonna miss you picking !ghts/
And me falling for it screaming that I’m right/
And you would hide away and find your peace of mind/
With some indie record that’s much cooler than mine”
Taylor states in this song that her man candy is too busy listening to an indie record to appreciate her talent. She’s right of course, indie records are much cooler than any of her records. In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, yup. Hummingbird, most definitely. Merriweather Post Pavilion, not really. Plus, in the video, her boyfriend gets busy with a chick that at first glance looks like Skrillex. So not indie.