SHE'S ONLY 13!
Last Updated on Thursday, 07 November 2013 00:41
Romeo and Juliet are anti-romanticWhen I first learned that my Honors British Literature teacher in high school abhorred Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, I was shocked. All my life experiences and English classes had taught me, until that point, that the play contained one of the most titillatingly tragic love stories of all time. Hearing those heretical words drop from the lips of my revered teacher made me furious. With her denouncement of the story, she denounced the dreams of thousands of young girls around the country. I soon learned, however, that her viewpoint was entirely legitimate. When I started critically reading the tragedy for the first time, I found that the text itself was not romantic at all. Sure, there are soliloquies and monologues in which the titular characters describe their passion for each other, but (a) those texts are ripe with innuendos and (b) they’re not based on anything other than physical appearance. I’ll admit that physical attraction influences whether or not you’re going to fall in love with a person, but if you’re only focusing on looks, you’re falling in lust. I’ve fallen in lust, too, but many people will agree with me that it is certainly not something to kill people for and end your life over. No, my friends, especially lady friends, Romeo and Juliet is not the ultimate love story, unless you truly desire a recent dumpee to praise your ASSets. Oh, did I mention that Romeo is in love with another girl in the beginning of the play? Her name is Rosaline, and she broke his heart by deciding to become a nun. Now, if you think that desperation is sexy, I may understand your attraction towards Romeo, but, sadly, I’ve dated too many men in that situation to know that it is as ephemeral and superficial as the compliments he gives you. I guess the difference in this story is that the two lovers died before finding out that their fling didn’t really mean much. Plus, Romeo is 17 years old, and Juliet is FRICKIN’ 13. She’d hardly gone through puberty, let alone started menstruating. So ladies, before you sigh to the popular notion that Romeo and Juliet and everything based on it is exemplary of idyllic love, you need to get the facts and find some better role models. You deserve something better.