A different perspective on modern relationships
Illustration by Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief
I flirted with the idea of being polyamorous for some time before meeting my current boyfriend, although I wasn’t exactly sure how it worked or what rules to follow. I had been dating multiple people, and they were well aware of me dating others simultaneously.
I had heard about shows like Polyamory on HBO, but I’d never had any functional real-world relationships like the ones portrayed occur to me. As a life enthusiast, I want to explore, learn, and take in as much as I can take. (In more holes than just my eyes and ears, if you catch my drift.)
With all jokes aside, I see relationships as serious moments in our lives in which, ideally, you and your partner share passions together and learn from each other to grow and become better people. Sharing intimate thoughts and communicating ideas with multiple people gives you a beautiful opportunity to learn from people. This wouldn’t signify that you love one lover more than another; it’s merely a different type of love, which is satisfied by only that person.
Samantha, from the movie Her, spoke a brief yet really profound and beautiful quote on this subject. She argues, and I agree, “The heart’s not like a box that gets filled up; it expands the more you love.” You can apply the knowledge you gain from one partner to another, and love each one individually for being their own person.
Being able to express these thoughts with my boyfriend, openly and without the fear of being faulted, has provided me with an outlet. Actual relationships like this DO exist. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect butterflies and zebras. How would a relationship with more than two people work out? How wouldn’t one person feel left out?
Of course they will at times. Jealousy is a universal trait that human-beings and other primates share. Still, polyamory has its benefits and shouldn’t be dismissed out-of-hand just because it’s different