A DIE-HARD STAR WARS FAN TALKS DISNEY AND EPISODE VII
Illustration by Rose Feduk
Let’s be real, if you grew up as a Star Wars fan, it’s pretty likely that you had your first sex dream about Harrison Ford as Han Solo (gender and sexual orientation matter not when it comes to Han). If you’re not a big Star Wars fan, it was probably about Harrison Ford as Dr. Jones.
There were so many emotions running through me when I heard that Disney had purchased LucasFilm for $4.05 billion and that Episode VII was expected in 2015. At first, there was excitement: More midnight showings to attend, and more trivia to learn so that I can outdo and impress my nerd friends. But the excitement was followed closely by feelings of impending doom.
Think of all the movies you saw over the summer. Now, think how many of those were sequels and how many of those sequels were horse shit in comparison to their predecessors. But, no matter how much Pirates of The Caribbean 12 and 13 suck, everyone will still go see Pirates 14 out of curiosity, and that is why sequels have taken over the film industry.
It’s common knowledge that Star Wars Episodes I, II, and III fell short of IV, V, and VI. Sure, the prequel trilogy had the special effects we craved, and a character named Skywalker played by a terrible actor so that we didn’t even have to miss Mark Hamill. But any true Star Wars fan can recognize that they fell short of the originals. Maybe it’s the special effects being used as a crutch for the inferior scripts, maybe it’s the fact that Padmé falls in love with a nine-year-old boy. Maybe us die-hard fans aren’t quite sure what’s missing, but the prequels are undoubtedly at a lower caliber than the originals.
Almost everyone I know who loves Star Wars is thrilled that the new trilogy will be from the makers of The Avengers series. However, I’m not so sure that the people who made a few moderately entertaining comic book films are ready for something as epic as Star Wars.
In an article in the Huffington Post, Lucas speaks of many more story lines that could be used for films. So the films could be beyond a new trilogy, and the force could always be with us. And since Disney loves their sequels (Beverly Hills Chihuaua 3? Really?) the chances of us seeing an Episode XX are pretty high. Star Wars could go on and on into the future, until we have the means to travel to the galaxy far, far away in person and lose interest.
I must admit, in 2015 I’ll be at the midnight showing, probably close to pissing myself for fear of the unknown. I’m going to give it a shot and I really hope I like it. It will still hurt a little if it sucks, but since I’m prepared for the worst, unlike the many Episode VII enthusiasts out there, in the event of complete and utter failure it won’t feel like the Death Star just exploded in my chest.