FILM MAY CAUSE WOW-SINESS
Last Updated on Monday, 18 February 2013 15:09
A (KIND OF) SPOILER-FREE REVIEW OF SIDE EFFECTS
Your first thought when you watch
Side Effects may be: Hey, that’s the hot chick from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. She looks weird. Rooney Mara is indeed different in this film. Not pierced or tatted, she actually seems normal. Oh, but it’s all a ruse. Steven Soderbergh, director, captures us in an engaging tale of waiting for love while he sweeps that bear rug you had sex on last night right from beneath your feet! Sure, the trailer tells us it’s a movie about drugs gone wild and how they affect Mara’s life, but then it takes a turn around Mollahand Drive. Hang on to your neon Nikes, because this shit just got real. The dashing Channing Tatum (yum) is finally out of prison when all the shenanigans start. His lovely wife has waited four years for his return. Once rich, happy, and beautiful, she doesn’t know what to do when her husband gets taken to jail. For reasons which include insider trading. But hey, if he got a bunch of money for it, we should all try it! [Editor’s Note: You are now entering the spoiler-free zone, if you want to spoil yourself, you bunch of Long-Johnsons , then check out the key at the end of this article.] So now she hates his (gorgeous) guts and is out for revenge. This is when things get weird. She pretends to be depressed so she can get prescribed drugs that make her sleepwalk. Then she __1__s him! Holy shit I can’t believe she just did that! So the man of the hour is __2__ and Mara takes the stage for an Oscar-worthy performance. Just refer to this review next year when the award ceremony comes around and she wins Best Actress. I thought she was __3__ the whole time, but her current psychiatrist, Jude Law, takes the hit for the __4__. His wife is pissed, the press is going nuts, and his practice is ruined. Yeah, I appreciated the alliteration there too. You’re welcome. The movie ends up being more about Jude Law than her. That was really surprising because he wasn’t even in the first fifteen minutes of the film. Leave it to Soderbergh to flip a bitch on us. Law ends up becoming obsessed with the case and wants to figure out what went wrong. He also wants his wife back, who left him for various reasons concerning money and a previous scandal. Mara ends up in the __5__ __6__ with Law as her doctor. He __7__s her, so she thinks, but it’s really just water. That’s the big “aha” moment. She’s a dirty __8__. An excellent head spinner, Side Effects earns an A+.Now, flip your monitor upside down for the spoilers.